Treatment Finished!

Well today is a great day! The best day that we have had in almost a year. It is on this day "February 25, 2009" that I can say that Cindy has finished her treatments. It is in many ways hard to believe that this day has finally arrived. I can still clearly remember sitting in the emergency room in Goderich and being told that my wife had breast cancer. And now after chemo, surgery and radiation she has completed her treatment. AMEN!

So with this chapter in life behind us we now begin another chapter in our journey together. I am not going to anticipate or speculate what the next part of this journey will entail, but whatever it is I know that we will experience it together. Together Cindy and I (and our children) will walk into the future holding hands knowing that we are not alone but that someone else is walking with us. God will walk with us. God will be holding our hands. Because of that we can enter the future with confidence, strength, comfort and joy. As I think about God going with us I am reminded of our wedding text: "in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." God will guide us and he will lead us....he will be there for us....he will make our paths straight....

It is a good night! And on this good night I am looking forward to the next chapter in our journey together!

Stephen

Excitement!

I now have one more treatment of radiation to complete! On the home stretch for this part of the journey. I am sure that the rest of the household is excited to be home but I am not sure they are as excited as I am. I have in my hand the schedule which includes on it treatments til Friday. The lodge staff does not complete believe me that I have endured the full 25 treatments so they have called over to double check that I am finished. I am holding my breath a little, so that I am not surprised if the doctor should have me stay another week. I am counting on flying out of here tomorrow.

The tired effect of the treatments have finally caught me. It seems that I could sleep til 8:00 am, have a nap in the afternoon, and be back in bed by 8:30 pm. Although my body is becoming more and more exhausted, my mind just won't settle. I am having to learn that it is not good to "push through it", as I have a tendency to do.

So on Sunday, while Stephen came home to pick the kids up, I crawled back into bed for the rest of the morning. In the afternoon, I had to cry and smile BIG as I viewed our church service on the local TV station. It was at the congregational prayer where I am always moved to tears and this day was no exception. Once again, Stephen had to report on my progress and, as how it has been often, he was moved to having a hard time getting out the words. Over the past year, I have sat in the pew and thought that this part of the service during THIS year has to have put a lot of stress on him. How I have prayed for strength for him during these moments and wished with all my heart that he did not have to utter the words which he did. Well, this Sunday all he could say was "Only three more...... three is a very significant number in Bible.........." (there was a little more said after but that was powerful to me.

Here is why! There are 374 references to the number 3 and 67 references to three days. Here is just a few:
-Within three days Pharaoh will lift up your head and restore you to your position, and you will put Pharaoh's cup in his hand, just as you used to do when you were his cupbearer. Gen 40:13-
-We must take a three-day journey into the desert to offer sacrifices to the LORD our God, as he commands us." Exodus 8:27
-So Moses stretched out his hand toward the sky, and total darkness covered all Egypt for three days. Exodus 10:22
-So they set out from the mountain of the LORD and traveled for three days. The ark of the covenant of the LORD went before them during those three days to find them a place to rest. Numbers 10:33
-"Go through the camp and tell the people, 'Get your supplies ready. Three days from now you will cross the Jordan here to go in and take possession of the land the LORD your God is giving you for your own.' " Joshua 1:11
-"Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my maids will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish." Esther 4:16
- But the LORD provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights. Jonah 1:17

But the best reference to "three days" is this one:
(Jesus Predicts His Death) He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, chief priests and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. Mark 8:31

As I was looking up these references I was struck by how there is anticipation for a three day event to end followed by God's victory. It is with my whole heart that I await these three days to pass. For I know that regardless of the outcome of this journey, my victory is in God's hands. How glorious it is!

Just One Handful Left

I had some trouble sleeping last night. I am not sure if it is due to the single bed I have to sleep in, the excitement of only one week left, or if my mind was swirling with thoughts about what life will be like after treatment is complete.

It is with mixed emotions that I can say that I have only 1 week left of radiation. Next Wednesday will mark the end of the planned treatments. Almost one whole year of my life has now been spent in a routine of doctor visits, treatment, and side effects. While been diagnosed with cancer is scary at times, it is now the step to returning to "normal" life that is unnerving me. It seems that this next step will come with its own adjustments I will need to make.

I have been asked several times "What do they do for followup? Do you have to be tested regularly?" This is the part that is haunting - there are no tests. While I will be regularly meeting with a doctor every three or six months, the only thing that is watched is whether I have experienced any symptoms. It is a little concerning that I will have to play the "wait and see" game once again. I have come full circle and am returning to this again. Last March I began with numerous mammograms, ultrasounds, bone scan, and blood work. Each time I needed to wait and see what the results would be. I remember how emotionally taxing that time was for Stephen and me and I pray that this time it will be less so. That I will be able to return to living with the cancer and its effects but not fearing the "what ifs."

I have come full circle in another sense as well. Here is how. If I have learned anything through this process is this theme - strength in God. Last night the verse that filled me was
"but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

Even in this verse is the promise that I had held onto during this process. It resounds the theme that was written on the silver bracelet I received one month before I found the lump. God truly does know what I stand in need. I continue to stand in awe of Him. This is what was engraved:

" The Lord is my strength and my song." Exodus 15:2

The rest of the verse is .... He has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise Him, my father's God, and I will exalt Him. If I have learned nothing through this whole year but this lesson I have learned much. It is He who has carried me through all the ups and downs and He will be my strength for whatever the future will hold for me. I will continue to praise Him.

Love and Marriage

What a wonderful weekend back home! And an extra day to the weekend even better to spend with the family. The weekend was a packed one and here is a little snippet of the goings on in the Tamming home.

Friday was a nice quiet night to beginning a great weekend. For girls our daughters ages, nothing beats snuggling up on the couch to watch High School Musical I and II. With Sarah a little under the weather and wanting to cuddle and Nicole and Meagan humming the tunes, I was delighted to kick back and relax. Stephen thought better and enjoyed some quieter, more masculine TV in another room.

Saturday was Valentine's Day. Although I think that Valentine's Day is extremely overrated, it is a good reminder to not forget about the ones you love. Part of our tradition is to make a valentine for each girl. It is an opportunity to tell each of our daughter that they are loved and what is especially lovely about them. Of course, being showered with chocolates and lots of hugs and kisses all around is a given part of the day. During the day we enjoyed watching the girls figureskate at the arena. Since the carnival is over, it is now time to return to learning some new techniques. I love to see how the girls are progressing each week and to hear about and watch them try to master new moves on the ice.

Sunday was great time to once again worship with our Trinity family. How good it is for the soul to sing songs of praise and listen to the word of God brought to life amidst people I have grown to love and appreciate more each passing day; to join together to praise the God that I love. In the evening we went to see "Fireproof." This film was a good reminder to fireproof the marriage. The most powerful part was when the main character realized what true love is - not the romantic love that Hollywood portrays but the love that our Father extends to each one of his creatures again and again. How great it is to be showered upon by Him. During this weekend in which love, marriage, and family is the focus, I was deeply reminded that God is LOVE. He has extended love to such undeserving individuals continuously just because. How awesome it is to be loved so greatly!

Monday was Family Day. While this day began as a relatively quiet day it was filled with a surprise along the way. Stephen had mentioned that he heard about the 104.9 Family Treasure Hunt. So at 9:00 am Meagan and I listened intently as the first item of seven was announced. Each hour an item was to be revealed and when all seven were collected you were to make your way to the station. At 3:00 just before the last item was announced, the girls were buckled in their van seats, the engine was started, and Stephen and I waited to hear the last item - an Olympic coin. It is a good thing that I collect things. It was a mad dash to the coin jar and quickly out to the awaiting get away vehicle. We had one stop and one light to get through and when it would be clear sailing to the finish. As we approached the light it turned green and we could see the finish. The excitement was building in the van. As we turned into the parking lot, a pickup was right on our tail. After Stephen parked the van, I passed off the bag of goodies to him. Lets face it, he is the quickest member of the team. I am proud to report that Team Tamming placed first in the hunt. We were awarded four family board games all of which were played to some extent that very night. I must admit that Stephen is not the only competitive person in the family. Each one of the female members eagerly encouraged the other members of the team during the race. What fun for family day!

Valentine's Day and Family Day gave way to experience some wonderful family moments. They were opportunities to demonstrate love and to be loved. I thank God for blessing me with four incredible beings who are part of the Tamming Team. How good it is to love and be loved!

Disney On Ice

The highlight of the weekend was the "Disney On Ice" - Goderich version.

Stephen and I and my parents sat in the chairs at the Maitland Recreation Centre on Saturday with great anticipation. We were on the edge of our seats awaiting the performances of our three star skaters. Sarah was to be Winnie-the-Pooh, Meagan was an "Under the Sea" crab, and Nicole was Minnie Mouse. Each girl had makeup done in the morning and was dressed in their costume.

Sarah has learned to glide gracefully on the ice. She has developed a technique quite her own. With a good swivel of the hips she is able to slid upon the glassy surface. Stephen is constantly reminder her to lift her feet. Sarah, a mind of her own, has chosen to stick to the twist and glide method. Her performance was almost flawless, until....... At one point the group was showing how they had mastered the ability to skate backwards. However, they had not mastered the ability to watch where they were going. Sarah was moving quickly and bumped into the person behind, and down the two of them went. But up she bounced ready for the next move. Beautiful!

Meagan and her group of sea creatures WERE flawless. It was the first time that they went through their routine without a hitch. The red crabs moved along the ice more graceful than the

actual creature of the sea does. I was proud at how well Meagan was able to skate, while rolling her arms and then raising one hand to the sky across the length of the rink. There was such determination and concentration on her face.

Nicole and the Minnie Mouse gang did a fabulous job too. I was amazed to see how quickly she has learned some of the techniques of skating during this season. This was the first time in which the girls performed without the instructor guiding them through their routine. Nicole was gracious to help direct the one who was unsure of what to do next. She had learned the routine well and wanted each skater to do well with it.

While this may have not been the true "Disney On Ice" a flawless performance by experienced skaters, this was an unforgettable event. My three stars were shining. Like the saying at Disney goes, for this Saturday "it was the happiest place on earth" for me and Stephen.

Another Week at the Lodge!

I have begun my third full week at the lodge today and am now over halfway complete of this treatment. Each Monday there seems to be a change in the lodge because some of the familiar faces had completed their time and have been replaced with new ones. Today, things are awfully quiet. The majority of residents are new and this has a very calming effect on the whole environment. It is almost too quiet. After the exciting, noisy weekend of being home, this is a dramatic change. I will have to wait til the newer residents are settled and are comfortable to see what excitement can lurk in the halls.

When I arrived after my radiation session, I was delighted to see a delivery had come. On the dresser sat a lovely rose arrangement. How blessed I am to be showered with flowers to brighten my room. I am constantly in awe out the outpouring of reminders by those who are dear to my heart. It seems not a day goes by without someone reaching out and reminding me that I am thought about and raised up in prayer. God is so good! and I am thankful for each one of his children that I am blessed to know. Also, there is nothing like a little "life" to brighten the slightly drab surroundings. Thanks!

Today at supper I sat with a couple from Lucknow. During our conversation, it turns out that we were once neighbours during Stephen's summer assignment in that town. For the couple of weeks that we occupied the parsonage across from the old age home, the Altons lived just a few doors down. How fun that we are once neighbours just a few doors away!

I have met a wonderful lady who was on the look out for me - Jason's mom. She overheard me boasting about my three girls and husband and knew who I was. While I am meeting a number of various characters, there is a different feeling when you can make a real connection with an individual. Hopeful we are able to make the next three weeks pass quickly for each other.

Tomorrow I plan to travel back to Goderich in order that I may attend the mother/daughter GEMS dinner. For my first time I will be able to attend as a mother of a beautiful GEMS. I am looking forward to going for two reasons. First, it will be a time in which I can go with Nicole to share in on her special night outing. She is growing up so fast that now I am attending her outings. Second, this will be the first GEMS event I have attending since I took a break after my diagnosis. It will be good to see the girls who I pray are finding their way to be "Girls Everywhere Meeting the Saviour".

For the rest of the week I will have to see what God has in store for me. I know that I have some plans for this week but usually His are much better.

Just to Shake Things Up!

Every once in a while you just have to break the rules.

It seems there is a cycle to the attitude of the residents. The newcomers are overwhelmed and their eyes are as big as saucers. I think because you look around and think "How am I going to survive here for the duration of my treatment? What am I going to do to occupy myself all day when the treatments only take a maximum of 20 minutes? Those that have finished their first week and are in the middle of their treatments have settled nicely into the routine of breakfast call at 7:30, lunch at 11:45, supper at 4:45 and snack time at 8:30, waiting in the lobby for the shuttle ride to the clinic. The women on the bench and the men watching for the shuttle to leave the neighbouring hospital to make its way to the lodge to pick up the passenger. Then there are those who are in their final week of treatment and are itching to escape from these walls. But just every once in a while things go astray......

Today has been a little out of the ordinary for a few of us. At breakfast Christine was letting us know how well she did not sleep. We are all entitled to having a bad morning and it was her turn. During the "getting it all out", I commented that she take a look at her name tag because the smiling faces did not match hers. Anne suggested that she turn her name tag upside down to reflect her mood - to which Christine boldly obliged. And that is the way she paraded around the lodge until she was spotted by the staff and told to turn it rightside up. A couple of us could not help but flip our tag as we passed Christine, not only to jest her but in defiance of the rules.

Later as we lined up for supper, we could not help but overhear another poor soul, Doug, caught in the act of forgetfulness. This gentleman thought that he was in trouble for not signing himself out. (This I might add is easily done.) He quickly walked over to the ledger and mentioned that he had not forgotten. However, it was another offense that he had committed. While he had signed out and then in, he have forgotten to check in after his appointment schedule. I did not realize that you MUST report back WITH schedule in hand for the next day's appointment and shuttle request. The gentleman stood with his arms at his side and his head slightly bowed and mentioned that he would not repeat his mistake again.

As I lined up my tray to get ready for the "slapping" of food, I was listening to the repetitive manner in which the kitchen staff would ask what you would like to eat. "Potatoes? Turkey white or dark? Turnips? Peas and carrots? Gravy? And what would you like to drink?" and REPEAT this 54 times. As I neared the server I whispered to Jo "Watch this...." I was planning to quickly rattle off my request, pleasantly of course, before I was asked. I tried my best but was quickly stopped by the veteran server. She must have overheard my whisper, maybe it was the gleam in my eye, or just maybe they are on the lookout at in the cafeteria for the craziness of the day.

I had the pleasure of being spoiled once again by dear friends, Joannie and Gilbert. The rebellious nature continued as we had gone out. We had are bellies filled with good food. Our time was filled with caring conversation. Time passed too quickly. Breaking the rules continued outside the confines of the lodge. We are ushered out of the establishment at 3 because it was time to close.

After supper as we lounged at the couch area, Jo noticed that there were rules of conduct posted at the registration desk. While we guessed at what they may state, they were left unread. No one ventured to walk near the counter. We would wait until the night staff takes over and hope that they were not informed of the antics of the day.

Just now Jo burst into the room in a giggle. Doug, the previous offender, was at it again. The intercom sounded in a room requesting a resident to come downstairs and receive a phonecall. He thought that he would be polite and respond by pressing the button and letting Dianne, the night staff, know that the person was on her way. Oops! The button is an emergency call only. Up Dianne trodding to see what was needed, out of sight Doug went - enough trouble for one day he thought.

This rambling tonight is maybe just a bit silly and maybe does not make much sense as you read it. There is comfort in the routine and stability of the day's activities, but a little breaking of the rules sure does bring a lot of delight to what could have been a mundane day. What a good day!

Home, Home At the Lodge

It has begun as a quiet week at the lodge. There is a large turnover this weekend and this seems to have had a mellowing affect on the atmosphere on the rest of the gang. It is nice to not do too much and in a way loaf around without feeling guilty. Although it is calm around here some exciting stuff is going on back at home.


I am a proud mother today. I should say a little more proud. This morning Nicole called to say good morning and during the conversation she let me know that she hoped that she would do well at the science fair. This weekend they had compiled the data and made their display. The girls had been busy typing, cutting, arranging, and glueing the information. As parents, we were quite proud of the work that they had done. Today was the day that they were to display their project. I was surprised to hear that she hoped that she placed, that she did not want to come in last - a little competitiveness was evolving.

Stephen took the girls to the high school to set up the display and, of course, check out the competition. He had kept me informed of the event several times throughout the day. I was curious as to how the competition did but more proud of Nicole and her friend for venturing to do this. After school I received a call from Nicole. I could hear the smile that was, I am sure, beaming on her face as she told me that they placed in the top six - that they were the first fourth-graders to be awarded. I am glad for the technological age in which we live because Stephen was able to send a couple of photos for me see instantly. Nicole said that the paper was there and that they may have their picture in it. I can't wait for next week's edition. I have been telling all the residents, whether they care to know or not, how well my daughter did. Way to go Nicole!!!

From the girls....

Hi everyone, this is Meagan.

I went tobogganing today. We went down the hills. I went down the big hill with a ramp. I flew in the air. Tobogganing was fun. I had a good day. It is fun to toboggan. I went down with my mom. and I went down with my whole family holding on sleds.

Skating is fun. I like to skate. I can skate. We are skating in a carnival. I am in the under the sea group. I have to do a dance on ice. It is a water dance. I am dressed up as a crab.

I have a tooth wiggly. I don't like it because it hurts.

Mom is going away for the week. I hope she will be fine. I think she is nice. I love her.


Now it is Sarah's turn......
I am Pooh Bear on the Winnie-the-pooh carnival. It is really exciting. I love that I get to do Pooh Bear. I get to skate. I go in a line to skate.

I like it because it's nice to be with my mommy and my daddy. I want to be with my mommy forever and daddy too.

and to end from Nicole....
This week my grandparents were here. We went tobogganing. It was fun.

At school we did lots of stuff. We did " twin day" and we went to Wawanosh. Twin day was dressing the same as your friend. My twin was Jordyn. We were a black top and jeans. We put pigtails in our hair. At Wawanosh, we learned about nature. We learned how to build a fire and went snowshoeing. It was fun.

Today we went tobogganing with Dad, Mom, Meagan and I. We put our toboggans together. It was fun. Then we went on the big hill. It was steep but it was fun. Meagan went over a ramp that was funny.