A Girls' Only Road Trip

March Break is over already one week but I thought that I would include a little anecdote about another road trip - our "Girls' Only" Road Trip.

Denise convinced me to travel with all five girls ALL the way to Timmins. While most people travel south on March Break the Tamming and Gibson girls headed north.

We met at Orangeville to squeeze the girls and all the belongings that seven women would need for a five day excursion. Believe me, the van was packed. Once all that was possible to fight into every nook and cranny of the van we were off to our first stop in Bracebridge. We planned a stopover at Denise's sister-in-law's home. We would invade the most home that mostly boys resided in. Lisa was gracious enough to allow us to take over her complete basement level of her home. When her two young boys woke up in the morning I think that they were a little overwhelmed to see so many girls playing with their stuff.

The next morning we were on our way to meet Mom in North Bay. She was a bit smarter to stop farther along the trip to make it a shorter drive. It is amazing how well the girls traveled. Although I have to admit that the technological age in which we live helps - in car DVD players are amazing. I loved the fact that Denise made a mixed CD for her and I to listen to . She had captured all the old favourites that we as kids enjoyed and were subjected to - The Gambler, 99 Red Balloons, Girls Just Want to Fun, Wolverton Mountain, - to name a few. I had the pleasure of a chauffeur so my trip was enjoyed with a little nap along the way too. Between Mom and Denise I don't know who was more concerned about me tiring myself out.

Once we arrived in Timmins, we piled out of the van and slid to the front door of the Peloquin household. Yes, we slid. In Orangeville my girls had worn shoes but here in Timmins the boots, snow pants, gloves, and hats would need to be worn. The snow was almost as tall as Sarah. The girls loved tobogganing down the man made hill in the park behind Tammy and Mark's house. It was a great way for them to wear of some of the energy that was bottled up during the trip up. At night the kids found whatever space was available to sleep on in the basement. Courtney and Sarah were lined up on the couch with Ryan lying on the cushions beside. Elissa, Meagan, and Nicole claimed the couch. It was good to see Ryan enjoying the slumber party.

The next day we had a wonderful time was began slowly. After we enjoyed a delicious homemade waffle breakfast, we planned the days outing. It was off to the local alley for a game of bowling, followed by a tour of the wine store. Tammy gave each an explanation of the wine making process. She taught us a couple of wine quality "things" - like that fact that wine has legs - who would have know. Then it was back to the home so that the kids could toboggan once again and supper could be prepared. A nice packed day!

That night we were planning where we should made our stopover on the way back home. Tammy suggested that go to the Clarion in North Bay and swim in the outdoor pool. Yes, you read that right - OUTDOOR. I was very skeptical of this because the girls were looking forward to swimming in a pool and staying in a hotel. For Courtney and Elissa this would be their first time in a hotel - we wanted it to be a grand experience. Once convinced, Tammy made the reservations. We were now committed.

The next day we loaded up the van once again and headed in the direction that most people travel on Spring Break - south. This time it seemed like the trip was longer than going up. It may be due to the number of stops that we made. Aside from bathroom breaks, there was the lunch break and the "bison" statue.

The hotel was very fun. We had planned for the younger women in one room and Denise and I in the other. That way we each had a bed to our self. Wonderful! The girls were excited when the door between the rooms could be opened. Once all the goodies were in the rooms it was time to done our swimming suits. Off to the pool! Now this was a little mind boggling. Every pool I have ever gotten into I had to dip in slowly. First my legs, stop, then my stomach, stop, then the rest of me. Here, my first toe dip was delightful - warm like a bathtub. The girls enjoyed jumping in several times. It was a little chilling watching them climb out of the pool into the cool winter air. They could not get enough of it. After a nice dinner out, it was back into the pool for the evening swim. You would think that it was a hot summer day for the amount that the girls wanted to swim. Denise and I sat on the edge bundled in mittens, winter coats and towels while the girls enjoyed the water this time.

The next morning we could not leave without a morning swim. You should have seen the steam coming off the water. Well, the pictures show a little bit. Take a look at the snow in the background! Crazy but wonderful! We really do need to thank Tammy for this suggestion. It was a highlight for me!

On our way home we made a stopover in Barrie. It was good to see Gene, Monica and their two sons. I was taken back at how much Joshua looks like his dad when he was little. The girls enjoyed playing with the boys for a couple of hours while we enjoyed the catch up with our cousin. Then it was back in the van for the last leg to Orangeville before we parted our ways.

I was glad that Denise suggested this trip. I was good to visit our sister once again but this time on her own turf. It was good to experience something new - swimming outdoors in the winter. It was good to see that seven girls can have a wonderful time on the road. Sometimes it is great to make road trips!

One Month Gone

Today it has been one full month since my last treatment. It was a quiet day since all of the girls are at school and Stephen was busy at work. A good time to reflect.

It is hard in some ways to look back over what has transpired during the course of the past year as I am now returning to somewhat of a "normal life." I write that statement with hesitation because while things are slowing returning to a way it used to be, I don't feel like the way I used to be. While my surroundings and the regular home "stuff" that needs to looked after remains the same, I don't feel and think the same way.

Maybe that is why I will include this entry that I was going to write when I came home then but for some reason I have delayed writing it. For some reason this image has not left my mind. Maybe writing it down will allow me to let it go......

As I was returning home from London I took the country roads. It was one of the most peaceful rides that I have had since I have begun traveling to the clinic. There was peace that this was the last return trip of my treatment schedule - from now on three month checkups are schedule. Peace that God has used these treatments as healing for my body. There was peace because I was the only one in the vehicle and I was not talking out loud to myself. I had even decided to turn off the radio because I would soon be home and it would be filled with the busyness of our Tamming clan.

At that moment I was driving down a very long straight stretch and not a soul was to be seen; not a vehicle on the road nor a person within viewing distance. It was only me and the road. I was struck by how it reflected how I have felt at times during the past year - the number of times that I have traveled this journey "alone". I have had a number of ladies let me know that they have had the diagnosis of breast cancer but there has not been one who is under the age of 40 and with a young family. There were the moments when I felt I was the only one whose life stopped because now I needed to learn how to live with the cancer diagnosis. I was the one who had to wrestle with my own mortality. At times, I endured the pain of the side effects while Stephen could only wish that they would subside. I was the only one learning to live with the permanent scars of this disease. There were the times late at night while Stephen and the girls peacefully slept and I was lying awake wondering "what is the purpose of all of it, Lord?"

I was now headed home and where was I going from here. But it was almost as soon as that loneliness hit me I was quickly reminded that I have never been alone. It is precisely when I have felt very much alone, I have sensed God whispering that I am NOT - that He was, is, and will be present. I remembered the times in which emails were sent at the exact time as some of my dark moments. Flowers were delivered when I really needed a "pick me up." A card was received when I needed a word of encouragement. Someone just stopped by, just because. We were surprised to be surrounding in prayer in our driveway. For each "alone" time that I experienced, God made sure that I was not - tenfold. All I need to remember is that wherever the road will take me, even though I may be by myself, I am never truly alone.

Have Come Full Circle!

I have enjoyed throughly the past three weeks. I have not written anything on this blog because it is nice to just enjoy the "every day" things without the cloud of the treatment for my cancer hanging over me. I have enjoyed doing housework. I have cared for sick kids. I have gone back to Coffee Break. We have celebrated our daughter's 5th birthday. We have hosted a party with seven of Sarah's kindergarten friends complete with pizza, cake, and a treasure hunt. I have enjoyed the "March Break Girls' Road Trip to Timmins" with the Gibson clan. It is nice to return to a "normal" busy life.

However, today is bittersweet. Yesterday marked the day in which I began this journey one year ago. On March 19, 2008 I walked into the family clinic for my doctor's appointment after having found a lump in my breast and fearing the worst. It was the day in which I had begun the numerous tests to determine what was later found to be cancer. It was the day in which I was trembling about what the future would hold. It was the day in which I could not and did not even imagine the depths of the emotional, physical, and spiritual journey I was about to embark upon.

Today this has been heavy on my heart. It is probably why yesterday and today I have been quite active - changing beds, doing seven loads of laundry, playing numerous games with the girls, groceries, sweeping the kitchen floor for the fourth time in one day, going though the summer clothes with the girls, vacuuming, and whatever else my hands could grasp to preoccupy my mind. If I kept busy enough the memories of the year are kept somewhat at bay. Just it was never far away.

While this does mark a year of my journey, I have taken some comfort in the knowledge that today is also marked as the beginning of spring. I love it that spring is officially here. Spring reminds me of new life and new beginnings. How fitting it is that this is the way in which I can also remember today. I have been given a new lease on life after the year that has passed. It is a new beginning in my life with/after cancer.

Shall We Dance?

Well it is the first full week that I am home in over a month and I am going to enjoy it to the fullest.

After supper while we were cleaning up the dishes, Nicole put in a WOW CD which we had not listened to in a long time. We were all drawn back to a "pre-cancer" moment. The girls recalled blasting the tunes in the van on our travels and remembered that they each had their own favourite number on the disk. Once the sink was emptied and the dishes put away it was time to dance. This used to be a nightly ritual.

If the neighbourhood could only see us "cutting the rug." Well, the truth be told, we never draw the front window blinds so they could see us if they looked. This Tamming clan may not have much rhythm but there was a joy that bounced in our steps that is unmatchable. It has been too long of a time in which we moved, danced, and sang as we enjoyed the music. There was a laughter that filled the corners of the room that has been gone for way too long. It brought smiles that beamed from ear to ear that have been missed dearly. I was overwhelmed by how much I missed this nightly performance. It was wonderful to move and grove with girls and Stephen. What a great way to begin this first full week! It is just great to dance!