The Waiting Is Over!

Well the waiting for Christmas day is now over!

We were able to spend some time with the Klein-Geltink clan Christmas eve. This day is one of the best parts of this time of year. It was full of the family: kids' noises, heart felt conversations with siblings and Mom and Dad, the competition of the table hockey game, the messages from Santa for all the grand kids, and Christmas music. We had the traditional dinner - Chinese food ending with the cracking open of the fortune cookies. The opening of gifts was a highlight for the kids big and small. How fun it is to see the excitement of receiving a much unexpected item and the pretended delight of opening a gift from a child who has told about the contents earlier that day. One thing that we have tried to do each year is line up the family for a portrait. After a few takes here we are:

Christmas morning, I had the privilege of once again attending church for the first time in almost one month. How good it is to worship amongst God's people. How I miss this so much during these past few months. And oh how more special it was to be there on a day like Christmas morning.

During the service, the children blessed us with singing and reading of the Bible passages. Everyone can attest to the fact that each little girl and boy brings a certain delight to any service and this morning they truly did not disappoint us. Their sweet voices, some louder and some softer, added a richness to the praises which are being lifted. The children were dressed in white garbs, like our image of the angels who brought the "good news" to the shepherds. What cute little angels they were.

That was the theme of the service - Waiting for the "Good News." When Stephen began the message it was like God spoke right to my heart. It was as if he had read my blog posting of a few days ago and was speaking directly to me and me alone. Stephen began with " Have you ever waited for news about..." Well, for me this year that seems to be all we have done most of this past year. Once again, like most days, I was brought to tears. They were not ones of fear or sadness, but ones full of recognition that God truly does know me and speaks what I need to hear at just the right moments. Once again He was there ready to tell me something that I should not miss and would bring great comfort and solace on this Christmas morning. It is sometimes the waiting that is hard but the message is often well worth it. Stephen made the point at the end of the service that hearing the angels proclaim the "Good News" was one thing but acting upon it was more important. We need to met the Saviour, accept him, and live a life for him. Waiting for news can be difficult but this accepting this "News" is exhilarating.

Cindy

p.s On a totally different note. I have been waiting for something else for a while too. On December 24 first thing in the morning I had walked past a mirror and what to my wondering eyes should appear but ... "bed head". Yes, my hair has grow to a length that I now have to consider some sort of style. For this one morning though, I did not straighten it but walked downstairs proudly making sure that everyone saw it.

I am taking a brief moment to write ..... the girls and Ryan are out in the backyard toboganning down the hill and building a snow village. Oh how great it is to enjoy all this snow!

It has been a while since I have written. I am finally getting more use out of my left side and I am hoping that after writing this note my muscles will not throb too much. I have had to learn a hard lesson once again - have patience.

I have had a hard time taking it easy and have had to try to be patient as recovery takes time. Just when the pain medication is doing its job, I feel able to do everything and forget that I need to be careful. Stephen has been great looking after me and telling me not to overdo it - even though I have not listened everytime. It was good to have my mom over for a few days - a pair of eyes making sure that I did not exert myself too much. I have been blessed to have a few "angels" sweep through our home to freshen it up and wipe away the dirt that can accumulate too quickly at times.

Waiting for Christmas to come takes patience too. Our girls have been counting down the days - for the "Nutcracker" play performance at school, christmas vacation to begin, when they can spend time with their cousins, the days til the gifts can be opened, the end of the falling of the snow. Each event has been long awaited and at time our patience for the events to happen wears a little thin.

These past days when I contemplated patience I am amazed at how patient God is. How patient He was with the unveiling His plan to reveal His gift at the prefect time for us to enjoy. How He worked out the perfect way to reveal gift to the world. How He waits with great excitement for us to open, enjoy, and take hold of His gift extended to us. During this season as we await the excitement of Christmas, I hope that you too will revel in the joy of the greatest part of this season - the gift of His love extended through Jesus.

Merry Christmas to you all!

Good Morning:

Well as I promised here is the update concerning Cindy's follow-up appointment with the Surgeon.

The Surgeon was very pleased with how the surgery went and the results that came back from the pathological report. He told us that the margins around both of the tumours were clear. He also told us that after testing 24 lymph nodes that only two of them were infected. He also said that the chemo had definitely attacked the cancer. So the appointment was a good one. The news appears to be good and for that we are very thankful.

After the appointment we decided to do a little Christmas shopping. So off we went to busy stores, looking for the perfect gifts for our family members. This is not always the most joyous thing to do, but since it was Cindy's first day out of the house in two weeks it was great. We of course didn't find any gifts.......

Then last night we attended the Christmas play at our children's school. The play was "The Nutcracker". What a joy it was to watch all the children singing, acting and having a good time. The one downside to the evening was that Nicole slipped in the hallway and cut her bottom lip. This happened right before the play had to start. However Mom and Dad were very proud because even though she was in pain she still took part in the performance.

So yesterday was a busy day, but it was also a good day.

Hope each of you have a great day. Maybe Cindy will write the next blog update.

Stephen

Good Morning:

Thought I better write a short blog to let you know how Cindy is doing. It has been awhile since I wrote and I am sorry about that.

Cindy continues to recuperate from surgery. Last week Friday the nurse removed the surgical drains and so that gives Cindy a little more freedom. The nurses have been pleased with the healing and we are very thankful for that. However Cindy still has pain, and continues to take pain medication. Today when I left for work the pain seemed to be a little worse than yesterday. Maybe that is because she is trying to do a little too much. But overall things have gone well.

Tomorrow we have an appointment with the surgeon in London. So once again we will be traveling down to London. We hope that the surgeon will be able to tell us a little more about what he found, and how the surgery went. We are not sure that he will do this since the pathological reports are probably not back yet. Whatever we find out tomorrow I will post on the blog.

Once again we want to thank everyone for the prayers, support and encouragement we have received. You truly have been a gift to our family.

Well I should get back to work. I have to prepare a sermon for this coming Sunday. And since I will be out of the office tomorrow I have a little less time to get it done.

May each of you have a wonderful day.

Stephen

Hello:

Thought I would give you a quick update .

Cindy is doing remarkable well. Though she is still experiencing pain she was able to downgrade her pain medication. Also we hope that by Friday or Saturday that the drains will be removed. So it has been a good week and the healing process is moving along very well.

As I stated in a previous post we had a snow storm which started Saturday night and continued until Sunday afternoon. As we often experience in Goderich the roads coming in and out of town were closed. The storm and the roads being closed meant that our girls had to wait until Monday to come home. It was so great to see their smiling faces as they ran into the house to see their Mom. They had a good time at Grandpa and Grandma Tamming's house, but it is good to have them home again.

This week Cindy's Mom and Dad are visiting. They are helping out with the girls and making sure that Cindy doesn't do too much.

We are so thankful for our wonderful parents. They have been so helpful to us and we don't know how we could get through this without their love, support and help. So thank-you Parents! We Love ya!

Also Happy Birthday to my baby brother Kevin. Yesterday he turned 35. Hope you had a great day. It was good to talk to you yesterday and I hope the computer problem is solved.

To each and everyone of you have a great day. And remember there are only 15 days left until Christmas.

Stephen

Cindy is Home

Hello

Cindy was discharged from the hospital and came home this afternoon. She is doing well and her spirits are good. She is still in some pain but that is too be expected.

We got home just before the snow storm hit Goderich.

Stephen

Another Step in the Journey

Good Evening Everyone:

Well the surgery is over and it went very well. Cindy is doing great! She still has that wonderful smile that I love so dearly. First, we want to thank our God who was with us each step (and I mean that literally) that we and especially Cindy had to walk today. Secondly thank-you to all those who keep us in their prayers today. Interceding to God on our behalf.

It was however a very long day. It started by getting up at 5am and leaving the motel at 5:45am. Once in the hospital Cindy was admitted and we went to the surgical waiting room. Surgery was supposed to start at 8am. However due to an emergency she was delayed until 11:30am. The surgery was completed at around 2pm and she was in recovery until 4:30. Finally I was able to see my sweetheart. That was such a precious moment. One that I will always remember. To see that smile was great.

So that's all I will write for now.

But again I say thank-you God! Our God is an awesome God! And I also have an awesome sweetheart that I love so much!

Stephen

I just wanted to add even though I know that Stephen has filled you in about our week.

We have been overwhelmed this past week and last night was ...........beautiful. It is incredible to know that God is with you every step on one's journey. It is something else to see His people surrounding you and your family in such a powerful way. As our family stood in the midst of the circle, it was, for me, the first time since March where I was not brought to tears as petitions were raised for our situation. It is amazing to feel such peace admist His people. There was a comfort in knowing that we are looked after, cared for, loved and definitely not alone. I know that will continue beyond whatever tomorrow brings.

"The Lord is my strength and song." for Exodus 15:2 is a verse and theme that has continuously been highlighted for me over the past months. And last night once again I was reassured of it.

Blessed

Tomorrow is the date for Cindy's surgery. I have to admit that we are anxious and nervous about the surgery. It has been difficult and even internally painful to see what Cindy and the girls are going through. As a husband and father I wish there was some way that I could make the cancer go away without the surgery. But I can't. All I can do at this moment is love them, hold them, pray for them and encourage them (especially Cindy).

But even in the midst of this we have seen the hand of God. This week has been difficult but it has also been wonderful for us as a family. Let me explain.

On Tuesday evening someone from Rotary dropped off a reservation from a Hotel in London. This person knew that we had to be in London early Friday morning and thought that we should have a relaxing evening in a Hotel in London. So on Thursday evening we will have a Hotel. That will give us an extra few hours and we won't have to worry about Huron County weather. What a blessing this was. Cindy and I are so thankful for this wonderful gift.

Then last night as we were eating we had a knock on our front door. When I opened it Hugh B a member of our church community was there. He asked our family to come outside. Once outside a whole group (to many to name) starting driving up. They asked us to stand in our driveway as a family so that they could pray over us. In the middle of rain and sleet we stood with hands on us, being prayed over and feeling the power and love of God. What a truly amazing and powerful moment. At night as I thought about what had happened the words of the writer of "Hebrews" came to mind:

"Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching."

Hebrews 10:19-25

What a blessing!

Thank-you to everyone for what you have done for us. Your love and your support are a blessing from God.

Well it is time to sign off. But again Thank-you! I will try to update the blog on Friday evening to let everyone know how surgery went.

Stephen

Anticipation!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, anticipation is hanging in the air at the Tamming house. About what you may ask? Well it is not about what you may be expecting......... it is anticipation about CHRISTMAS.

On Friday we finally broke open the Christmas boxes and Stephen began to set up the tree. The most troublesome part of Christmas decorating is the stringing of the lights on the tree. I am proud to say that for the first time in seventeen years of trimming our tree, there was absolutely NO fighting or arguing between Steve and I. I will repeat that again. It has taken seventeen years to finally figure out how to decorate the tree in peace.

Once the tree was set up and the lights were attached, it was time to decorate. We have a tradition that the kids put on the ornaments with the more breakable items carefully supervised by Steve or I. We could hardly unwrap the ornaments fast enough for the eager hands to hang them on the boughs.

Our tree is may not win an award for the best decorated, but it would win an award for the most memorable. It is decorate with items that Stephen and I purchased during our first Christmas as a married couple. It is filled with decorations that Stephen and I have received over the years. It is adorned with ornaments made by the tender hands of girls. To us, it is the most beautiful Christmas tree.

The last decoration that we set up was the nativity scene. This was a teaching moment for the kids at this time. It was a time in which we are able to remember the true meaning of Christmas - what this advent season is about - the joyful news of the coming of our Saviour Jesus Christ.

We hope that the next several weeks may be a time of anticipation for you also!

Amazed Once Again!!!

I have to clarify this entry. I had to save this draft since Stephen beat me to entering on Tuesday. I did not want to bore the readers with too much info so I held off but then, Nicole wanted to try to write something and then Meagan wanted to follow the next day. I decided to post this even though today it is old news.... I hope you still enjoy reading it though. Although it describes a day earlier this week the rest of the week continued to be quite similar.



Well, today I stand once again in awe. I am amazed all the time. Let me tell you how some individuals lifted my spirits yesterday. How these people were being used by God to pleasantly surprise me when I REALLY needed it.

I did not feel much like attending Coffee Break - somewhat due to being a little "down", but mostly due to the headache/migrane I was trying to ward off. I had thought that I needed a good day of pure silence. It was going to be easy to get since all the girls had school today and Stephen was going to be at work.

At 8:38 am, the Tamming household was quiet and I had the whole day to myself. The silence did not last too long - the phone rang and it continued to ring several times throughout the day. I know that I could have turned the ringers off and let the machine answer the calls but after I missed the first phone call I picked up the following ones. The message on the machine was just the beginning of the "pick-me" day God had planned for me - again with the continuous message of "strength" in the Lord. This friend pointed out Psalm 105:4 as a verse she felt that I should hear. Although she did not know it at the time - I needed to be pulled out of the weak moment that I have been experiening these past days and redirected toward God - the source of my strength. Next, I talked with a breast cancer survivor who has been checking up on me more frequently these past few days. It is good to express to and question someone who has been there and understands maybe too well what is heavy on the heart and mind during this stage of the treatment process. Then there was the infamous facebook and emails. I was a little overwhelmed by the number of messages and prayers uttered for me. I am amazed that at the times when I have been "down" there are a number of prayer warriors lifting me up to the Lord. How awesome!!

If you feel the Spirit prompting you, don't hesitate to act. You just never know how your action, how insignificant it may seem to you, powerfully affects someone else. God may be using you as a healing balm to someone hurting, a shining light to someone who is feeling the darkness weighing them down, or a direction sign to point out Who to rely on and get strength from when that someone is weak.

My Day

Hi everyone,
Tonight we went skating. It went very good. I learned how to skate backwards and jump on ice. And I learned how to figure skate and to do a figure eight. I saw lots of my friends. And I saw my best friend Kijana and I hope she has a great Christmas. And I saw my new friends.

I hope that you pray for my mom and I think that it is going so well with her cancer.
I hope you have a great Christmas and I hope that you have lots of presents.

love,
Meagan

The Parade

dear friends and family,
I, Nicole, wanted to try the blog out tonight. I will tell you about what we did Saturday. At the parade, we had hot chocolate and got lots of candy. The candy we gathered we put in mom's pocket. The pocket was really big so we could put the candy in. We saw lots of floats. We saw some friends on the firetruck and on floats. The best part of the parade was seeing Santa Claus or Saint Nicolas as some people call him.
I love my mom really much.
love,
Nicole

Good Afternoon

Well thought I would add a post today. It has been awhile since I have written on the blog. Cindy has been doing a great job of keeping you up-to-date on the happenings in the Tamming household.

The last week has been snowy. The snow just keep coming. Though I live in Canada I am not a big fan of snow. It is when the snow comes that I wonder "Why didn't my grandparents immigrate to Florida or Arizona......" I might not like the snow but our children are enjoying it. Last night (before and after dinner) they made a snow fort with their friends from across the street. They where having so much fun that it was difficult to get them to come inside for bed. Though they came into the house cold and wet they were still smiling. What a joy they bring to our lives.

This past Sunday my parents came to visit. It was good to spend the day with them. My mom is doing much better and for that we give thanks to God. However just a note to mom...."Don't overdo it!"

The next couple of weeks will be difficult for our family. Though chemo is complete we are now anticipating with some nervousness and anxiety Cindy's upcoming surgery. This will be another hurdle that we will have to cross in this journey that started in April. Surgery is something that we have tried not to think about much. However now that surgery is just over a week away it is hard to get it out of our minds. In the next week please pray that God will give our family the strength to overcome any anxiety and fear that we will have. Especially pray for Cindy. Though I can support her and love her I cannot begin to imagine what she is going through.

Today I would like to thank the people of "Trinity Church." This is our wonderful church family. As a church family you have been amazing. The prayers, meals, cards, flowers and words of encouragement have meant so much to us. Through you we are experiencing the love of Christ.

On a real personal note I want to thank the congregation. As the pastor of Trinity I have felt your love and support. Your willingness to support me by doing the Pastoral prayers, allowing me an extra Sunday off when Cindy has surgery, and allowing me to take time away from the office to go with Cindy to her Doctor appointments will never be forgotten. Thank-you from the bottom of my heart.....

Well until I write again

Stephen

What Have I Been Up To?

Technology is great when it works. I have not been able to log into the Internet too much over past week. Our Internet has been a little fickle. But here is what has been going on.

I have been able to attend Coffee Break for a couple of weeks now. A great opportunity to learn more about Jesus and how refreshing He can be if we only allow Him to be not just be a part of our life but fill all of it. I am thoroughly enjoying the opportunity to meet new women and hear their stories. I am amazed at how God is working in each one's life - in big and small ways.

On Thursday I did something I really don't enjoy too much but my company was one of the best. I was taken on a shopping excursion to the "big" Suncoast Mall in Goderich. We hit every store looking for an outfit for me to wear at my parents' anniversary celebration. We tried on some casual shirts and then tried on some of the trendier get ups. I was pleasantly surprised that although the bubble shirt looks interesting on the hanger, it really doesn't look too bad on. My partner in crime looked rather stunning is the green "thing". It was fun to step out of the box and just chuckle at how surprisingly flattering some of the trendy items could be. The best part of the day was just being out and spending time with a very dear friend.

Friday and Saturday were the highlights of the week. My parents will be celebrating their 40th anniversary on November 27. While we do not usually celebrate special occasions early, we planned this celebration prior to knowing when my surgery would be. The first night, the house was filled with friends. Each person there has and continues to be special to my parents in their own right. Most of them I have grown up with and I know that they have been around for my parents during the good and the hard times of most of the 40 years and will continue to be there for them. On Saturday, the house was doubly filled with my parents’ siblings, in-laws, nieces, nephews and one grand-nephew. During this evening we had the opportunity to see a video which captured parts of the wedding reception which took place almost 40 years ago. It was a bit incredible to see how glamorous my parents looked back then - and that their classiness still continues. It was great to spend time with some family members who I have not seen in a long time. Boy, how we reminisced about the past and laughed about the good times that we have lived. These nights were the best!!!! The most exhilarating and the most exhausted nights at the same time.

As I looked back at the blog entry on November 7 I am delighted in God who has not left me alone through all of this journey. I am amazed at how God truly does answer prayers in the most wonderful way. Just take a peek back while remembering what you have just read and delight with me.

It is good!

Today was wonderful. It was a great way to top off this weekend.

I was finally able to attend church after too many weeks away. It was good to be reminded, to know and to feel that "God himself is with us." It was good to worship God with His people. It was good to sing praises. It was good to listen to a sermon in the sanctuary instead of watching it. It was just good.

I am often surprised at what God has to say to me as I sit listening to the message. While I was reading the passages of the day I was drawn to read further in the chapter. Since I had the privilege of hearing the message last night, I keep one ear open but two eyes glued to the words written on the pages of the Bible. I was drawn to read Matthew 6:25-34. Given the emotional and mental experiences of Thursday's visits with the surgeons, these verses spoke volumes. By Saturday, I had come to the conclusion that I would put off thinking too much about the Dec 5 surgery for this month as best I can. But today Jesus really summed it up in the conclusion of the passage "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today." (NLT)

When God speaks, and I am willing to listen, He is so good!

A date is set.

Well, yesterday was the day of this month that I was looking forward to only because a number of my questions would be answered and the date of the pending surgery would be set. The surgery is scheduled for Dec 5. Yes, for those who are of the dutch descent - it is SinterKlaas - a day of gift-giving and making good fun of one another. In a huge way now, I am glad that this is one of the dutch traditions that our family did not pass on. I am not sure I may appreciate my "new" package I will receive on this day this year.

Stephen and I met with the surgeon who will do my mastectomy. We then had a couple of hours to spend in which we do some shopping and had a bite to eat. After it was back to the University hospital to met with the plastic surgeon to talk about the options of reconstruction. I was hoping that she would say that both surgeries could be completed at once but it was, as I had suspected, not the best option. It was very difficult to sit and watch the presentation in which actual photos of the "before" and "after" reconstruction flashed to show the work. Although the finished product was wonderful, I was stuck only observing the "before" images that smacked me with the fact that that was how I was going to look on Dec 5, 2008 and following. Although I have been reminded that the reconstruction is an option that can be done at anytime I chose following the suggested wait time by my oncologists, the disfigured body I will have to live with troubled me.

Wednesday night while the girls were skating, someone told me that the chemo was harder since it was a process and the surgery was just a procedure. I am only convinced that this is true in regards to the pain. The physical pains that I have had to endure as a result of the side effects have been difficult at times, but they have subside. The physical change that will take place on Dec 5 will be permanent - a part of my body as I know it will be gone for the rest of my life on this earth. To me the emotional and mental battle of this leg of the fight has already been hard and it is only promising to be more challenging next month.

Today I had an opportunity to celebrate a birthday with Jill VanderWier. It was good to be out of the house and forget about what occurred yesterday for a little while. For most of this month I am looking forward to "pretending" that things are somewhat "normal" again since I only have the pre-admission visit and some blood work scheduled this month. May it be a month of taking it relatively easy so that I gain much strength back and much rest when I begin to feel tired from trying to enjoy life too much. May it be a joyous time in which I can celebrate the 40th wedding anniversary of my parents. May it be a month filled with visits with family and friends in which I can enjoy the goodness and delights of living. May it be that God just continues to surprise me with whatever He feels I need to make it through each moment of the month.

For those who have been diligent in checking the blog my apologies for not writing sooner. Thanks for checking up on me! I have not written in while because I have been in a very difficult place since the last chemo treatment.

The pain in the muscles and joints have now subsided. My fingertips are still sensitive to the touch making opening cans and ripped opening packages a little difficult. My nails, particularly in my feet, feel like they are slightly lifting off my digits. I seem to tire more quickly - its bedtime for all the Tamming girls by 8:00 including me, if sleep will come. I still have some difficult swallowing and my taste buds have not returned - broccoli and chocolate have the same flavour.
The state in which my mind lingers has not been in a good place.

I have been telling everyone that I have finished chemo and this is a time of celebration. The first of three parts (chemo, surgery, radiation) is now complete. Hurray!!! While those are the words that I utter, in my heart I am most scared about the next step. I have opened my blog account several times planning on entering some tidbit of an update, but I am stopped each time when I see the banner of the pictures at the top. It is then that I am forced to think about how that was before and wonder what the after will be......

The pictures captures what now seem like a lifetime ago or almost a whole other life for me. It was a time when I did not really understand the brevity of life, the pain and sickness that some live with constantly, and the need for the hope that I cling to tightly to live each moment. It represents the last moment that I will ever physically look the same again. The next day I lost my hair, a few weeks later my eyelashes and my eyebrows. In this next month, the surgery will render the change permanently. Although I have joked that once reconstruction is complete (and I am hoping for the flap in which the abdominal muscle is used - a "tummy tuck" bonus) that I could look better than I have or probably ever did, it is going to be a long hard process to get to the finish.

Right now the sun is rising in the horizon and it reminds me of the hope and brightness of the day. I have begun this entry in the dark of the morning and now the light is forcing its way into the world. Now I pray that His light will shine in whatever I will need to endure and that the difficult thoughts will be lifted.

Let it grow, let it grow, let it grow!!!!!

Well the kids are off to school, Stephen is at work, and I am refreshed from a warm shower. I am going to relish in the solitude of our quiet home today.

Now I wish to share some thoughts you may think strange but bear with me. While in the shower these thoughts crossed my mind - I can’t wait for two things to begin sprouting once again: eyebrows and nose hairs.

It has been quite a dancing act since I have been trying to wash my little stumble of hair. My neck gets a good workout twisting and turning and craning backwards do avoid the shampoo streaming into my “baby blues”. My head feels more like a pinball machine than it looks like a cue ball. I did not realize how important the eyebrows were as the first line of defense to stop me from crying like our daughters when water gets into their eyes.

These past months, any slight sniffle would send me crazily running for a Kleenex. The Kleenex company must love this time a year especially with chemo patients. With the snow that some have experienced this week, I am not looking forward to the winter cold. I can’t help but imagine having the sniffles and have to go outside with the instant freeze – oh, happy winter, not!!!! I almost don’t care now how long those nose hairs can grow; just a few would be great.

I am not sure why I wrote this today but I hope that you enjoyed a little bit of what we like to call “Klein-Geltink” humour! Have an awesome day!

The Last Blast!!!

Well Friday was my last chemo treatment!

I had quite a couple of surprises - some pleasant and one not so much.

So far everything has been rolling along as scheduled and with the worries about the low blood counts over the last weeks, my treatment went on as scheduled. Actually, my counts were well above the minimum so praise needs to raised to the Lord for this blessing. I am scheduled to meet with the surgeon on November 6, with surgery to be scheduled near the end of November. I should not be needing to return to the cancer clinic till the new year - that sounds like a far ways off. As my oncologist stated, then we can enjoy a little of the Christmas season as a family before radiation begins.

While waiting for a chemo chair to open I was trying to read a book and overheard a conversation between two patient across the aisle. This is the tough surprise. Two women were discussing how their treatments were going. At the past seven treatments this is often a time I have witnessed times of encouragement, but it was not so today. The one patient relayed how difficult it was for her and finished off by saying "I think that suicide would be a better option." Then she just rose and walked off. Once I understood what I had heard, the lady had disappeared and my heart was heavy for her. I remained waiting for 20 minutes with my eyes searching the area to see if she would return. I never saw her again. This was one of the most difficult times I have witnessed to the sadness of what this disease does to a soul. This hopelessness reminded me that sometimes there truly is nothing to be done but to leave it in God's hands. A lesson that very hard to swallow at times.

My next surprise was much more delightful than I was able to fully comprehend at the time. I was so drugged up with Benadryl that I did not see my sister, Denise, and my brother, Ken, parade through the entire chemo ward carrying a balloon and gifts and beaming with huge smiles to celebrate this last blast until they almost stood at my feet. I have been quite apprehensive to cheer about this stage because it seems like only a small part to the finish line, but I am glad that they decided it could not be passed up with a little bit of excitement and celebration.

I have never been so glad as to walk out of a place and feel elated to tell everyone in the ward "I never want to see you again!" I am referring of course to my goodbyes to the chemo nurses and the tone of the statement was in gest. I was beaming while saying this. I must admit that I was also sporting the red glow of my "moon face" - another lovely side effect. I was also skipping my way out - a little high on the extra dose of steriods. Anyways the nurses did suggest reporting back once in a while they like to see how things turn out. One nurse, Ally, caught my off guard as she stated that she may not recognize me sometime - the hair can be a little deceiving to them. This is something I can't wait to happen.

Even with this extra glow and spring in my step, I am glad to report that I have now finished this part of my treatment. Although it still seems at times that it is only a small part of the treatment is completed and there are still more stages to complete than I have now finished, I am able to cross this one part off. I have been exposed to some trying, tough times and some of the most memorable, joyfilled times within moments of each other than I ever could have imagined. I am thankful that the Lord has opened my eyes to see the mixed surprises in life and realize that my eyes need to be opened and lifted up toward Him at all times.

While I am anticipating and beginning to feel the dreadful side effect of this last blast, I am now counting down these days, with a bigger grin that you can probably imagine.
Cindy

This is a quick note.

I was hoping that I would have been told the lab results of my blood work from this morning but I was not successful in gleaming this information from London.
So I am going on the assumption that tomorrow will be my last blast of chemo. It is with some mixed feelings that I will go to sleep with tonight. I am a little excited that this is the last but a little anxious about the coming week and the pain I will have to endure.

Right now my mom walked in the door with several huge suitcases. Stephen's eye bulged with the expression as to say without saying "HOW LONG!!!!!!!!! as the Habakkuk said "HOW LONG OH GOD MUST I CALL FOR HELP BUT YOU DO NOT LISTEN!"

OK my wife is having some fun and trying to be funny. Not that my eyes did not bulge.....I do love my mother in law.....but a week!!!!!....as I said in my wedding vows...for better or worse.

Well we will write latter
Love you all

CINDY AND STEPHEN

A little bit of sunshine

It has been a long week with very little contact to the world beyond the confines of our home. Aside from a quick drive to Clinton and picking up the girls after school, I have talked to very few individuals except for my wonderful family. Until yesterday......


I was blessed to have my door knocked upon, conversations at the doorway, and the phone ringing almost every half hour throughout the entire day. Stein delivered a wonderful measure of chicken soup - comfort food for the body but the gesture was more comforting for the soul. Next Joanne stopped by with an orchid - a lesson on how a delicate exquisite part of creation can flourish and bloom with the right amount of tender loving care. Next there was a beautiful bouquet of autumn coloured flowers with "A bit of sunshine" message written on the card and that is what it did indeed bring, Joannie - a reminder to see the exquisite array of colours in the world that are much more pleasant to enjoy amidst the "blue" of the days that one sometimes experiences. My evening was topped off with Laurie dropping by for a "quick" moment - great to have a couple of laughs mingled with the openness of what was going on with each other these days, a phone call with Lisa who I have missed seeing for a coffee and chat time, and finally a conversation with my Dad. All just seems a little better once I talk with Dad. This indeed was a good day and so very much needed.

I do really thank the Lord for placing such wonderful individuals in my life. I have experienced far beyond my wildest dream more goodness and love out poured from those who love Him than I ever thought would be possible. During these past few months, I have had the privileged to be showered upon through prayer, words of encouragement, food, flowers, and other gifts. There have been so many gestures that I have not even begun to name them all.

I am extra glad that some days the outpouring just never stops! It's like God just wants us never forget for one minute that there is the sunshine amidst any "blue" we may be experiencing.

Election Day

Since everyone knows that I love politics I thought I would begin by reminding everyone that today is election day. So if you have not voted then get out and vote. I will be up late tonight watching the election returns. I have to admit that the last month has been a political junkies paradise. With the Canadian election and the American election what more could one ask for. And for you Americans remember November 4 is coming.........

Cindy informed you yesterday about what she and we have been going through the last number of days. Today Cindy went to the hospital for another blood test. We are hoping that the results show that her white blood count is climbing. However, for the remainder of the week she has to watch where she goes and who she comes into contact with. So it is going to be a long week for her.

Yesterday was thanksgiving day, here are some of the things I am thankful for:
- my beautiful wife
-my precious daughters
-my extended family (especially our parents and siblings)
-my church family
-my friends
-the country I live in
-the beautiful fall weather
-the warm house we live in
-the doctors and nurses in Goderich and at London Health center.

and of course the love of God that he has lavished upon me through his son Jesus.

I am a blessed man, God is good, and yesterday I lived in his goodness.

One thing before I finish, please keep my mom in your prayers. Though she probably doesn't want me to write this she has been experiencing back pains. They are making it hard for her to walk and my Dad had to bring her to the hospital on Saturday night. Anyways Mom take it easy, don't do any work and get better real soon.

Love you all,
Stephen

Thanksgiving Day

I have been a little quiet this week because it has been a little bit of a tough one. This long post may not be what you are used to reading from me. I have finally reached the point in which I am a little bit tired of the treatments in which I am enduring and tired of thinking about the long process that I am still going to have to go through. It is a glimpse into the more difficult times from my perspective.

Once again the pain is there. Nothing new but the new meds are great for taking the edge off. At the very least I am able to sleep until the meds wear off but some rest to available.

It was wonderful to have my mom once again stay for a few days. It does not seem to matter how old one gets there is nothing like your mom administering a little TLC. My mom would not let me do anything. Even my lunch was made for me and brought to me. If I would lie down on the couch for a change of scenery, mom would tenderly cover me with a quilt. My house was cleaned, the girls were picked up from school, the numerous bags of outgrown clothing was sorted and dropped off at the boxes, a lot of little things that are too numerous to mention. In short I was treated royally. I had to admit to Dad later that week that I had grown accustomed to my "Molly Maid" and was not sure I really wanted to let her get back to her home. Thanks Mom!

I thought that I would be bouncing back to normal by the end of the week but that was not to be so this time. Thursday night I was beginning to cough and it was getting a little bit worse as the evening progressed, along with some aching in the legs. Just before I retired for the night I took my temperature - 38.1 degrees. Now for most, this is only a slight fever but for chemo patients this is a dreaded figure. It means to the hospital no questions. Well, as you might know with my indecisiveness and stubbornness, I tried everything from loosing some layers of clothing that I was wearing since I was a little chilled, opening the window to cool off the room, drinking a few cups of water just because I hadn't had anything in a while but nothing seemed to change that dreaded number. It was off to the emerge at 10:45 at night. Bill, our neighbour, was kind enough to sit while we found out what was going to happen. I was a little fearful that I would be hospitalized. Thankfully, my doctor thought that a strong dose of antibiotics and staying at home would be the best for me. Ironically, there is currently too many unpronounceable viruses floating around in the air at the hospital that my lowered immune system may not be able to take. I am hoping that my neutrophil number gets out of the concern level that I may escape from my home soon.

Yesterday I had to return to the hospital to have my blood work taken again to see if I am on the way to recovering. This visit became one of the most difficult moments I had to revisit since this battle began. I was escorted to a room in the emerge in isolation which in itself is a little daunting. However, the toughest part was the room to which I was to wait in. It was the very room in which Stephen and I were told the dreadful words "suspiciously malignant" on April 25 2008. Today I had chosen to go to the hospital alone but truly regretted being so independent. It took me a few moments to sit on the bed since all I could remember was sitting on the bed and looking at Stephen sitting in the chair and how he broke when those two words were uttered and realizing that at that moment our lives would never be the same again. A moment in time in which I wished I had been wrong. Yes let me repeat that phrase I wish I was wrong. A moment in time in which I wished Stephen was the one who could tell me "I told you so." I had to remain in this room for almost two hours. It was at first very hard but once Stephen came it was much more bearable. At least I can now revisit that location with much less dread. My numbers did not change much so the treatment is the same. Remain at home, get plenty of rest, continue with the antibiotics, enjoy Thanksgiving.

It is Thanksgiving Day today. I am looking forward to a day with the girls and Stephen. Stephen has prepared the bird for today's dinner. Yes, we have broken down and upped the ante to a turkey this year, at Meagan's request. It will be dinner with all the fixings. We have a small tradition at Thanksgiving in our home - the table is adorned with a special tablecloth. Since we are often home with just the five of us since Stephen's preaching schedule does not allow for much travel at this time, I though that we needed to make it special for the girls somehow. So a few years ago I purchased a tablecloth with the intent of writing on it what each one gathered around our table was thankful for that year. It is cool each year to read what was written in the past and add something new. It is a great way to remind ourselves that we have been blessed immensely and continue to.

Today is a good reminder for me to continue to look at the good things that are showered upon me and my family. A good reminder for me to call upon God who has been with me through this whole journey, the hard and difficult times and the good moments. A good reminder to continue to praise and thank God for all He has done. Just a good reminder..........
Cindy

All I Can Do Is Pray

Today is Monday and as I am sitting in my office working I am constantly praying for my wife. Cindy is once again experiencing the dreaded side effects of chemo. Her body is aching all over and ever movement brings a sign of pain to her face. I wish that I could do more, but there is nothing I can do to rid her of the pain.

It is very difficult seeing someone you love have to go through such agony. I sit looking at my computer screen and think how our lives have changed. I wish we could turn back the calender six months and pretend that this was all a bad dream. But unfortunately it is not and Cindy, I and the girls have to continue to live with the reality of what is happening in our lives.

I sit looking out the window of my office and wonder "Why?" If only I could get an answer to the "why" then maybe I would feel better. But then I say to myself "Will getting my "why" answered really make things better." And of course the answer is NO!.

All I can do as I sit here is pray. And so I pray! I call out to the God who made the heavens and earth. I shout out to the God who redeems us in Jesus Christ. I plead with the Holy Spirit to show his presence to us. I pray for healing, I pray for perseverance, I pray for grace and strength, I pray for my wife....my beautiful wife who I love so dearly....I pray for my children...I pray for......................

God please be with us, God shower us with your grace, God show your friendly face to us....God be near to my wife and my children.....

All I can do is pray....

Stephen

Busy Being "Normal"

Finally, an update for the "update". It is going to be a long one so get ready!!!

We have been enjoying a wonderful past week and a half too much with the busyness of the regular family activities that our reporting was neglected. For us this was wonderful! Although you may find this first part a little boring. please bear with me because it was most delightful!

This is how it has been for the Tamming household:
- daily school routine has settled in
- piano lessons and practices are well established
- Coffee Break has once again begun
- the girls began figure skating for their first week
- Nicole is enjoying her Tuesday nights out with GEMS
- Meagan was able to go on her first school trip of the year - learning about the various jobs around the town
- Sarah enjoyed a fun "backwards" day in JK
- Stephen's days filled with ministry work, doing what God needs and wants him to do here in Trinity
- I had the opportunity to look after two little girls for dear friends for a morning
- I enjoyed relaxing with cups of coffee with Lisa and delving into the chocolate cake I believe tasted as delightful as the cake looked. At least that is what I am telling myself even if my taste buds are not cooperating.
- I enjoyed an afternoon stopover at Julie's while the girls played with their little buddy, Jacob
- doing the bedtime routine once again while Stephen is back attending of church ministry meetings at least three out of the five weeknights
- the church ministries are under full swing and Trinity is now buzzing with programs in which we can discover more about our God that we are blessed and comforted, dearly loved and upheld by
- a weekend in Strathroy celebrating Hilda's birthday with the whole Tamming clan
- finally just doing the regular household stuff like laundry, cleaning, groceries, cooking some old time favourite supper, all without much thought about cancer.

What a blessing to have a "normal" family week and a half!!!!! Praise God for these moments!!!!!

And now for the week to come and what occurred yesterday. There are two things to be thankful for. First, during my doctor's visit, I was told and was able to feel one of the tumours which is breaking up in pieces. Great news! Second, I am happy to report that although I was quite anxious about my treatment and any possible reactions, all went well. After a Zantac, Benydril and Cort ozone IV and a fifteen minutes break, the nurses proceeded with the scheduled chemo treatment. There was no change to the chemo regiment I am on. I am most thankful that there is the scope of medicines available to fight this disease, its side effects, and reactions to the chemo meds. Even though the side effects are not that pleasant to have to deal with, I continue to pray that the outcome is going to far outweigh them.

Once again it was a long day. It was nice that Hilda, my mother-in-law, came to accompany me on this day. I hope that she enjoyed this experience with me as much as it was a pleasure for me to have this time to spend with her. It was another opportunity for a family member to see first hand what is going on in the life of our family and how we are all affected by this major change. But also to see how many other people are dealing with this disease and that we only see one treatment centre for a few hours one day.

It was a bittersweet day since my dear chemo friend, Glynis, has beat me out of the chemo ward. It was her last treatment date and I had to joke "that I could not believe that the chair beside her bed was not available for me to join her this last day." Then I had to add "How dare the nurses not save it for me." We are actually not even in the same wing so the conversations could not even occur across the aisle. I am glad that she has completed this stretch of her journey and pray that the Lord will continue to heal her. I am sure that she will be doing the happy dance next week, after the dreadful side effects go away, as she and her husband Gilles take a much deserved vacation. I will miss seeing her smile on my last and final chemo day.

I am feeling pretty good today and will continue to enjoy these next couple of days before the side effects knock me out. I was given some stronger pain medicine to try to lessen the aches in the muscles and joints that I was told will continue to plague me next week. I keep reminding myself that I have only about eight more days to endure, four next week and four more in four weeks. The end of the nasty side effects of the chemo treatments is nearing with each passing "normal" day.

I hope that you too take great pleasure and enjoyment in your God given "normal" days.
Cindy

Good Morning Everyone:

Well another week is moving along quickly. At the Tamming household things are busy. With school and after school activities are days are full. On Monday after school we had to go to a cross country meet for Nicole. We had a great time watching the children run the races. Then yesterday evening Nicole had GEMS at the church. She is really enjoying being a part of this group of girls.

Well Cindy is doing much better this week. Her energy is back and she is not experiencing the pain that she did last week. It is in these times that we as a family can feel normal again. In the past we often have taken things for granted, but now we thank God for the days and the weeks between treatment that we can have normal time.

Though Cindy is feeling better we always also know that the next treatment is coming. In just over a week Cindy will have to go to London again for her 7th treatment. But that is in a week so we will not dwell on it this week.

As a family we just want to say thank-you to all the people who have been so helpful to us. Last week the meals and the help at home was so much appreciated. We are so blessed to have a community that cares for us and helps us during our difficult times.

Well this Friday evening we are going to my parents in Strathroy. My whole family will be there to celebrate my Mom's birthday. It will be a great to spend with my brother and sisters and to see my nieces and nephews. Anyways MOM "Happy Birthday".....(this year I didn't forget)

Well may everyone of you have a great day. The Fall is here but the weather is great. Enjoy these days cause we all know that it won't be long until the snow arrives.

Blessings
Stephen

The week is almost over and what a week it has been. Although it began not the most pleasantly but is finishing off quite nicely.

First, the boring news report. I was in a lot more pain than I anticipated. But as the week passed so did the pain. It was a good to have my parents here for a few days. Aside from Stephen, if anyone was to be a witness to my state, it was comforting to know that it was my mom and dad. Although I must admit that it is hard to be in pain and have a loved one watch and be completely unable to do anything about it. We will be able to put this one in the memory books as a moment of family time shared even though the pains of life.

On a brighter note. This week was a big change in the Tamming household. All three children are now in school. Sarah began her educational career for the first day on Friday. Just like most parents' story about the day the youngest sets off for school, ours is no different. Stephen and I planned and did walk the girls to school. When the bell rang, we brought Sarah to the kindergarten door, gave her hugs and kisses and watched her confidently walk into the school. But this is not how Sarah thought that her first day should go. At dinner the night before, she declared to us that we did not need to take, Nicole and Meagan could walk her - every parent's dream, right?. As we left the schoolyard to return home, Stephen mentioned that it was nice to finally have one child who did not cry when you left home at school. I just smiled and thought "That's our Sarah!"

Meagan turned seven this week. It truly is amazing how quickly time passes and how they do grow up way too fast. To celebrate, she had a party today with a few friends - Emma, Kijana, and Kylie. Meagan had wanted her party to include a craft called a friendship bracelet since she was going to spend time with all her friends. Here was her artistic nature coming out combined with the sweet sensitive side. Later, we had to chuckle as encouragement amongst the friends continued while they are trying to break open the pinata. As one girl was striking the pinata, the others chanted "GO GIRLFRIEND, GO GIRLFRIEND." It was a couple of hours filled with just "girlfriend" time.

This is just a snippit of the week. I am hoping that next week will be just or even more eventful than this one, but a lot less painful.

Cindy

The Week Continues

Well today is Tuesday and the week is slowly moving along. The last two days have not been easy for Cindy. The pain she is experiencing has been very difficult. You can see the expression of pain on her face.

We are so thankful for our church family that has brought us meals. What a true blessing they are.

I am also grateful that Cindy's parents have been here for the last two days. I know that for some having their in-laws spend two or three days with them might be difficult.....however their love, support and help is so wonderful. Our children also love having grandma and grandpa around. Sarah actually had the opportunity to spend the day with them at the International Plowing Match.

As for me I have been busy with church stuff. Trying to write sermons. Tomorrow I have to go to a meeting in Collingwood. It will probably last all day. So it will be a long day.

Last week I read something from Rick Warren the author of "A Purpose Driven Life". He said
"I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you got to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others."

This is so true. To get through this time Cindy and I often think of the blessing that God has given us.
The blessing of three beautiful daughters
The blessing of the love we have for each other
The blessing of family
The blessing of our church family
The blessing of friends that call and help
The blessing of beautiful weather
The blessing of Jesus and his love and grace
The blessing of laughter

So many good things to think about and smile and be thankful for....

Well have a great remainder of the week

Stephen

Ready For Round Two?

Well, it is round two with the side effects of Docetaxel, two more to go. And as some like to call it, the "battle" continues. I am beginning to experience another element in the "battle" that I had not up until now. This time on a more physical level. Up until the last round of chemo I have had little side effects that would knock me out. Not so with the Docetaxel. With this round, like last month, the side effects are posing to put up a good fight. Yesterday the pain began to ache throughout my joints and the sore throat is back again. I am glad that I was given some more meds to ward off the pain but I am looking forward to about Friday when it is over for another time.

It is during this time that I realize that I have put a lot of trust in the doctors, medical field, and the treatments that are available. But as I was awoken several times throughout the night due to the aches, there were a couple of verses that came to mind late last night - Proverbs 3: 5-6 and Exodus 15:2. These two passages are dear to my heart because the first is our wedding text and the second is inscribed on a bracelet I received from my dear friend, Lisa, just before this "battle" began. I may never know why this "battle" needs to take place now but I do know that God is teaching me something. There have been constant and consistent times in which God has whispered gently these verses over the past four months and I am learning from Him. He continues to draw my attention, my trust, and my strength, even during this "battle", back to where I need to focus - ONLY ON HIM.

Cindy

The Week Has Begun

Well it is Sunday the first day of the week. It is going to be a long week for Cindy. She is already feeling the side effects of her last session of chemo. The pain in her joints is becoming more intense and the expressions on her face says it all. But even in the midst of her pain she still attempts to do things. This afternoon I caught her doing the laundry. When I told her to let me do it, she insisted on continuing. She tries to stay upbeat. I marvel at how brave she is, and how she is able to handle these difficult times.

Today Cindy did not go to worship. She stayed home to rest. Since I was at church getting ready for the service Helen V came and picked up the girls. We are so grateful to Helen for helping us out. It is times like these that we feel the love and support of our church family.

Well tomorrow is a big day since it is Meagan's Birthday. It is hard to believe that she is turning seven. I can still remember the day she was born. As you can see she is our blond beauty. She is such an amazing girl. Her imagination and her caring nature are a gift from God.

As you go through this week please keep Cindy in your prayers. Pray that the pain may not be too intense. Pray that the drugs may kill the cancer. Also pray for our girls. Pray that they understand that their Mom will need rest this week.


Till next time
Stephen

Sixth Treatment Down With Excitement!!!

Well, Stephen has beat me to reporting the excitement of yesterday's treatment. But I will write it out for you to read from my perspective.

I was not looking forward to this sixth treatment because I was anticipating the next week's unpleasant side effects but I was ready to get it done. But I did not anticipate the excitement that was about to happen today.

Denise was the lucky one to accompany this treatment and we should have know from the way our day became it was going to be quite eventful. We started off at 6:50 am on our way to the cancer clinic in London. It was a nice leisurely drive with a quick stop in Lucan at the Tim Horton's for a bagel to go. Denise had gone into order and three times had to come and ask what I would like because all my favourites were not available. I had to settle for the cinnamon and raisin -- it was quite a disappointment to my not such cooperative taste buds. But at least it was some nourishment to down with the meds I needed to take prior to the treatment. From then into London, we were behind several slow cars, construction, and every possible light we had to stop at.

The doctor's visit was once again encouraging, with things progressing as they hoped. The side effects are what I should expect and then it was on to have chemo.

When we got into the chemo ward, we were settled in to a lazy-boy next to Glynis. From my second chemo treatment until yesterday, Glynis has become a familiar face in a neighbouring chair.

Nurse Elly hooked me up with the iv. That went not too bad except for the horrible black and blue bruise I am now donning. Then Elly got the meds going and placed on the ice slippers, one mitten, and was working on the second. I was involved in conversation with the nurse, Denise and Glynis and was beginning to feel "Not so good!" It was not until the nurse drew my attention by asking "If I was alright?" did I realize that I was not. Suddenly four nurses swooped in out of nowhere with two emergency kits containing reaction medicines. The chemo meds were stopped and benidryl was administered and some other meds I can't remember. My blood pressure and oxygen level was closely monitored, and my RED face was closely scrutinized. All I wanted to do was sleep but was a little afraid to until Elly said it was okay to give into the sleep it was just the reaction to the benidryl. This took about 3/4 of an hour to get me settled down and then the chemo was restarted. This time with no reactions.

To pass the rest of the time Denise entertained me with a Christmas quiz from the Reader's Digest. We both failed miserably, but we both have to say that the Christmas questions are not about the true Christmas story that we have both to love and believe. It was most enjoyable having beat her by one more correct answer.

Leave it to my sister to take the camera out, well actually my cellphone, and capture the Kodak moments. Denise was a little disappointed that she did not capture the nurses swooping in but she did get some of the excitement with two nurses monitoring me near the end of the reaction.

Oh and here are a few "lovely" pics of the dough girl just for your entertainment. Not my best photos but just so you can visualize what it is like for me.........

Cindy received another treatment yesterday. It did not go as well as the previous 5. She had a reaction to the chemo medicine and had to receive some other medication to stop the reaction. I will let her tell you what happened.

This weekend will be busy. I have a wedding to officiate. Tonight I have the rehearsal and tomorrow afternoon is the ceremony. Then on Sunday I have two services to lead. So like I said a busy weekend.

The girls are enjoying their new school. Each morning they are excited to go and see their friends. This morning we allowed them to walk to school on their own. This was a big step for us as parents.

Sarah will begin school next week Friday. She is excited about beginning school. Each morning we have to tell her how many more sleeps until school.

Last night I signed the girls up for figure skating. I was hoping that they wanted to play "Hockey" but that is not the case. I am still excited about seeing them on the ice and doing what figure skaters do.

We truly are back in the "Rhythm of Life." And as I go about my day I think how truly blessed Cindy and I are. We have three beautiful daughters, a family that loves us, friends that encourage us, a church family that supports us, and a God who walks and lives with us. Truly Blessed.


Just a note to Denise. Thanks for taking Cindy to London yesterday. You are an amazing sister and sister-in-law. We love yeh!

Well got to run

Stephen

P.S. I hope (for one or two persons) that the spelling and grammar is alright.....

The Rhythm of Life

Well, we have finally gotten back into the rhythm of what September brings. By this I mean that we are back into the daily schedule of getting ready for day, school or work or home life, coming home from where we have been for the day, homework, supper, and bedtime routine and for Steve off to the nightly meetings. Yes, back to the busyness of school and church life. How sweet life is! I must say that it is nice to have a new routine to think about. Although as a family we have adjusted to the three week routine of chemo treatment, its side effects, a good two weeks, and then start all over again, I must say that this "September" rhythm of life is the much more loved rhythm in our lives.

While it was good to finish the first week of school and see that we have adjusted well. It was also great to be back with our "church" family at Trinity. How wonderful it was for me to sit in the front pew once again and worshipping our God together. How my soul was lifted in praise by the aid of the music led by the worship team. How great it is to meet God through praise and prayer with His people in Trinity. What a wonderful element to add to this "September" rhythm of life. I just have to praise God!

The rhythm of my chemo treatments will begin again on Thursday. While I am excited that I will only have TWO more to go, I am very apprehensive about the week to follow. I hope that maybe some "good" drugs can be prescribed or that the effects may not be so bad. For this I covet your prayers - that I will not be too anxious, that while the chemo will work tremendously in my body its side effects are minimal, and that I will continue to find God's goodness in the rhythm of what life brings.

To that end I must sign off, and get some much need sleep.......
Cindy

Hello everyone just a quick note to tell you that i think you can now leave comments. I have changed some of the settings so I hope it will allow you to leave a comment now.


Have a great sunday worshipping our amazing God with all his people.


stephen

First Week of School

Well, the first week of school is now finished for Nicole and Meagan. Sarah was a little disappointed that she has to wait til the 19th to begin.


It was a good start for the girls. I think that it is often more difficult on parents wondering how they will adjust to new surroundings, a new teacher, and a new grade. The first day, the children were surrounded by a number of anxious parents awaiting the entry of the kids into the school for the morning assembly. Each one was wondering who their teacher would be and which classroom they would be in. Anxiety and anticipation filled the air.

Now we are getting back into the swing of the schedule of the daily routine of school. This change in school has allowed for a quite a difference in our family life at home. One of the biggest is that the mornings are more relaxed and provide an opportunity to start the day off better. We have made a committment to use this additional time as a family discovering God in his Word. We know now that we will need to take a more active role in the instruction of our girls and we can't wait to see what the Lord will do with this.

We hope that the girls will do well this year in their new grades. Meagan's day is a lot more focused on languages. Reading and writing is going to be the focus of the day. I hope that she will develop a love for reading - an opportunity for her to use the imagination that she has been blessed with. Nicole is learning French for the first time. I loved learning this language and it is funny to listen to her attempt to remember and speak in a new tongue.

For Stephen, it is back to work and right into the swing of things. His first week back and two sermons to prepare once again. The meetings have begun once again - three evenings this week and there was a holiday in there. It is back to making sure that our dinner hour is a time to enjoy each other, catch up on the day's events, and share how good our God has been to us that day.

After the 19th all three girls will be in school every other day. I hope that I will not get too bored with all that time to myself. It will be a time in which I will be able to rest a bit more. I may actually be able to get at a few of the things, like the photo albums, I have left unfinished.

I am not sure what this new year will bring but look forward to it with great anticipation!!

Cindy

Well I hope everyone is having a good week. I am back to work and trying to get my sermons ready for Sunday. Thought I would take a short break and write on the blog.

The girls started school this week. They are attending Robertson public school this year which is just down the road from our house. The first day was a little difficult since it was a new school. But we are glad that they have already made friends and are enjoying getting up in the morning and going to school. Sarah howeverwas a little disappointed cause she will not start JK until September 19. The school slowly bring the children in for JK and SK over the first several weeks.

As for Cindy, she is doing much better this week. The pain that she experienced after her last treatment is pretty much gone. So hopefully the next week will be good. Next week Thursday she will have her 6th treatment....that will mean she is 3/4 of the way through chemo. Hard to beleive that we are this far in the process already.

As for me, well like I said I am back at work. Trying to focus my mind which is not always the easiest thing for me.

Thanks for all your support, all your prayers,

stephen

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEY

Today it is Cindy's 39th Birthday. Happy Birthday Sweety! I know that we have to face a tough year......but I love you so much and will walk with you each step of the way.

My prayer for you is this:

May our heavenly Father bless you Cindy
May our heavenly Father place his loving, merciful and healing touch upon you,
May our heavenly Father shine his Friendly face upon you each day this coming year....
And may our heavenly father grant you many more years so that I can love you more and more as we walk this road of life together.....

Jesus please heal her

Amen


Stephen

Some Pics

Hello it is me Stephen. Cindy already filled you in on our wonderful week at Forest Rock Camp. It was a time down memory lane. Our girls seemed to enjoy it. They even liked (or should i say screamed) as Dad drove really fast down the road that leads to Forest Rock. For those of you who have been there you will understand why they screamed.

Anyways it was a good week. I do wish that Cindy was feeling better. It was very hard to see my wife have to suffer so much.

Anyways I have put some pics of us at Forest Rock. Maybe it will bring some memories back for those of you who have been there. And as you can see the fishing was great...the weather was wonderful.....and the family time was amazing....I did see the goodness of God in each of these things.....


Have a good week....

Stephen

Back from a much needed R&R

Well, what a week we have had! We spent the past week at Forest Rock Camp. The week was a great time for our family to enjoy the beautiful creation and forgetting about our life back in Goderich. The camp has not changed since Stephen and I had been going as kids ourselves. Although the cabins could use a bit of an update, we were blessed with wonderful weather and a beautiful surrounding.

The week was filled with frog hunting, minnow catching, lots of fishing, playing at the playground, swimming out to the raft and in the lake, badminton, boccie ball, Dora Uno, talking with the girls, campfires, boating and lots of relaxing and rest.

I have to report that the girls did not catch a bigger fish than their dad, but they each had the opportunity to go out fishing one on one with him and help him haul in the big ones. There are plenty of the usual pictures of Stephen and the girls holding a stringer of the day's catch. One time, Stephen and Nicole were out on the lake and around the bend in the bay, I could hear the excitement of the big catch. I had to laugh from my perch at the cabin, as Stephen's excitement echoed across the water -- it truly was a "Steve" moment.

We are beginning to see how Nicole is growing up. There were plenty of times when she would just pull up a chair and sit and chat. She "had to" take the camera or the video recorder to capture some moment be that Stephen taking off to go fishing, Meagan and Sarah at play, the ducks swimming by, or the blue heron on the raft. One afternoon I enjoyed playing badminton with just her. It was not just the exchange of the birdie but the conversation back and forth that captured my heart.

We are constantly amazed at the creative mind in Meagan's head. She had drawn an elaborate "sunshine and feeling" sand drawing. She had made a hidden office in the woods. Also she had built a campfire by the water so that she and Sarah could warm themselves. Boy, does she love the natural world. She was mesmerized with trying to catch frogs and net minnows.

We enjoyed the adventure and zest for life Sarah has. She just went and talked all day long. She attempted to play trackball, needed to be pushed at the swings, and loved swimming. One afternoon, although it was a little cooler and cloudier, she desired to be in the lake. With her life jacket and floatie, she was determined to swim out to the raft all by herself.

This week was one of the most enjoyable and difficult times for me. I was blessed with this family time without interruptions. It was a time to enjoy and praise God for the joy that Stephen, Nicole, Meagan, and Sarah bring into my life. To observe the wonderful qualities developing in these young girls. To be thankful for the man I love dearly and am dearly loved by. To enjoy the wonderful world which God has created for us to live in - the quiet of the lake, the blue heron, frogs, minnows, the mist over the lake in the morning, and the clear starlight nights. All these good things, to name just a few, were mixed with some difficult moments. I experienced great discomfort in my joints and muscles as a result of the new chemo drug I was given. Stephen would send me to the cabin to rest while he was with the girls. Although this allowed me to try and rest, it was during these moments that I became an "observer". I could listen from the cabin and hear the delight of a swimming out to the dock, or the fussing of putting on life jackets, or the sound of the boat leaving the dock. Although it was hard not to be a part of it all, there was some peace in that maybe this was God's way of showing me how things will be all right during the next months when I will not be able to be around for everything -- that things are going to be 'okay' .

Cindy

Well, I am finally writing on this update. Although I have been keeping a personal journal or my thoughts and experiences about this time in my life, it is about time I fill in a few words on this page too and relieve Stephen from filling you in.

I am glad to report that I have made a milestone on this "journey" as some people like to call it. I have now completed more chemo treatments then I have left to undergo. I am now on the downside of the chemo treatment. This past treatment was an experience -- although each time seems to be a new adventure or new "news". Stephen and I had a good laugh at this treatment. I have gone from not only from looking like a "bald eagle" to now looking like the Pillsbury Dough Boy. It is really a pretty sight! I am wrapped up in warm blankets from neck to ankles with ice mittens and ice slippers on. The mittens and slippers are on to reduce the circulation in my extremities so that the nail damage can be kept to a mimimum. Just another possible side effect.

We are planning to go away with the girls to get away for some down time before school starts over the next week. We are off to Forest Rock Camp! This is a place that Stephen and I enjoyed as children and we are hoping to create some wonderful memories with our girls. Stephen is looking forward to doing some fishing while I am looking forward to just relaxing with a few good books. Nicole and Meagan are going to catch bigger fish than their Dad. So much for Stephen's quiet time in the boat. Sarah is excited about the playground.

I have been blessed and overwhelmed by the support during this past months from prayers, phone calls, meals, cards, visits, jewellery and a quilt to name just a few things. Each action I hold dear to my heart as I experience the outpouring of God's love extended through each of you. Today, I received a wonderful surprise of encouragement - it is a series of pictures spelling the word "Courage". We were told that when this gift was purchased, the next Sunday Stephen had a fitting message on this theme. There have been many moments in which courage is not how I would describe how I have faced or handled this journey so far. But this gift will, for me, be a reminder that we can have courage or strength to take on each and every moment only when we rely on God to carry us through.

Till, I write again.......
Cindy

Hi Everyone:

Well today we went to london to see the doctor who will oversee the radiation treatment. Radiation treatment will begin around six weeks after surgery. That means it will probably begin sometime in january. The doctor said that cindy will have to have at least five weeks of treatment five days a week. There is a chance that she will have to have six to seven weeks of radiation but that will depend on what how the margins are following surgery.

After our doctor visit we went shopping and then out to lunch. We had a nice day, but it is always difficult to here what Cindy will have to go through over the next half year or so.

On Thursday we go to london for Cindy's 5th chemo treatment.

Have a great day

stephen

Good evening everyone:

Well it is monday evening and thought would just write a little note on the blog.

Tommorow Cindy and I have to go to London to see the radiologist. She is going to explain to us about radiation treatment which will take place after cindy has surgery. So I am sure that we will recieve alot of information and have to make some descisions.

Yesterday we were in Strathroy. I preached at East CRC. It was a good service (at least I think so) and it was nice to be able to preach in the church my opa help found and my parents where married in.

We have had to make another important decision this past week. It revolved around where are children will be attending school next year. If our children attended the christian school in Clinton they would have to leave our house no latter than 7:25 am and be home about 4:30pm. With our present situation we felt that this would be a long day for them and we would not be able to spend the time with them that they require. Therefore for the coming year we will be sending them to the public school by our house. As I said this was a very difficult decision. We really appreciate Clinton Christian and the education they receive there. But for this coming year we felt it best to have them home more.

Next week we hope (if cindy is feeling good after her next treatment) to go to a cottage in Bracebridge. The place is called "Forest Rock Camp". Both cindy and I went there as children, though on different weeks. It will be nice to show our children where we went. Actually this is the first place I kissed cindy. (Nicole said "yuk Dad")..With all the decision we have had to make and with the stress in our life it will be good to go down memory lane and spend a nice quiet week with our children.

have a great evening.....

stephen