How Can I Keep From Singing!

At the end of this entry is the lyrics to a song that we sang in church a few Sundays ago but today the tune is ringing in my head. It is called "How Can I Keep From Singing" by Chris Tomlin.

While the words are so true as to the amazing love that is bestowed upon us from above, I was struck by how not so true those words were for me last year. While my heart knew the truth about what God has done and how dearly I am loved by the King, my voice could not sing.

Today I stand in awe of how far the Lord has brought me in one year. Last year at this time I was unable to attend our church classis meeting because I was having a core biopsy performed. Yesterday I was able to stand up and report, quite nervously I must admit, donning a whole new curly look. Later I was overwhelmed by the number of persons who commented about "how good I looked." To which my response was "Well I DO try! Last year we would drive in the van with whatever Praise and Worship CD was in the player blasting the tunes and my mouth could not utter a word for fear that I would tear up so much that I could not see the road as the words are to hard to sing. Today, the van is sometimes hard to keep on the road because of the vibration of the music and the singing and swaying to the beat of the five precious passengers. Last year I was wondering if I would see another Mother's Day. This year I was spoiled by much love and thoughtfulness of the three beautiful girls and my loving husband, Stephen. Last year I was plagued with "what if I never...?", "what will happen...?", "why is this happening NOW?", and "what is God doing with this?". Today I still don't know the purpose of it, I just hope that God is working miraculously through me with it. Last year, I was concerned deeply by how much this cancer was taking away from me - my naivety about life and death, our children's innocence, my ability to carry on all my usual household responsibilities, my love to spend time with our GEMS Tuesday nights, how my body was going to be permanently changed. Today, I thank God for the daily blessings that I receive regardless of how little or how big and just that I am granted one more day, that God is touching lives through me, and mostly that I am taken and held as a daughter of the King. For all this and much more than words can describe I can now sing these words:

"How Can I Keep From Singing"

by Chris Tomlin

There is an endless song

Echoes in my soul

I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come

I am holding on

To the rock I cling

How can I keep from singing Your praise

How can I ever say enough

How amazing is Your love

How can I keep from shouting Your name

I know I am loved by the King

And it makes my heart want to sing

I will lift my eyes

In the darkest night

For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You

Knowing You'll see me through

And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times

Sing when I win

I can sing when I lose my step

And fall down again

I can sing 'cause You pick me up

Sing 'cause You're there

I can sing 'cause You hear me, Lord

When I call to You in prayer

I can sing with my last breath

Sing for I know

That I'll sing with the angels

And the saints around the throne