The Last Blast!!!

Well Friday was my last chemo treatment!

I had quite a couple of surprises - some pleasant and one not so much.

So far everything has been rolling along as scheduled and with the worries about the low blood counts over the last weeks, my treatment went on as scheduled. Actually, my counts were well above the minimum so praise needs to raised to the Lord for this blessing. I am scheduled to meet with the surgeon on November 6, with surgery to be scheduled near the end of November. I should not be needing to return to the cancer clinic till the new year - that sounds like a far ways off. As my oncologist stated, then we can enjoy a little of the Christmas season as a family before radiation begins.

While waiting for a chemo chair to open I was trying to read a book and overheard a conversation between two patient across the aisle. This is the tough surprise. Two women were discussing how their treatments were going. At the past seven treatments this is often a time I have witnessed times of encouragement, but it was not so today. The one patient relayed how difficult it was for her and finished off by saying "I think that suicide would be a better option." Then she just rose and walked off. Once I understood what I had heard, the lady had disappeared and my heart was heavy for her. I remained waiting for 20 minutes with my eyes searching the area to see if she would return. I never saw her again. This was one of the most difficult times I have witnessed to the sadness of what this disease does to a soul. This hopelessness reminded me that sometimes there truly is nothing to be done but to leave it in God's hands. A lesson that very hard to swallow at times.

My next surprise was much more delightful than I was able to fully comprehend at the time. I was so drugged up with Benadryl that I did not see my sister, Denise, and my brother, Ken, parade through the entire chemo ward carrying a balloon and gifts and beaming with huge smiles to celebrate this last blast until they almost stood at my feet. I have been quite apprehensive to cheer about this stage because it seems like only a small part to the finish line, but I am glad that they decided it could not be passed up with a little bit of excitement and celebration.

I have never been so glad as to walk out of a place and feel elated to tell everyone in the ward "I never want to see you again!" I am referring of course to my goodbyes to the chemo nurses and the tone of the statement was in gest. I was beaming while saying this. I must admit that I was also sporting the red glow of my "moon face" - another lovely side effect. I was also skipping my way out - a little high on the extra dose of steriods. Anyways the nurses did suggest reporting back once in a while they like to see how things turn out. One nurse, Ally, caught my off guard as she stated that she may not recognize me sometime - the hair can be a little deceiving to them. This is something I can't wait to happen.

Even with this extra glow and spring in my step, I am glad to report that I have now finished this part of my treatment. Although it still seems at times that it is only a small part of the treatment is completed and there are still more stages to complete than I have now finished, I am able to cross this one part off. I have been exposed to some trying, tough times and some of the most memorable, joyfilled times within moments of each other than I ever could have imagined. I am thankful that the Lord has opened my eyes to see the mixed surprises in life and realize that my eyes need to be opened and lifted up toward Him at all times.

While I am anticipating and beginning to feel the dreadful side effect of this last blast, I am now counting down these days, with a bigger grin that you can probably imagine.
Cindy